November is Caregivers Month

Some of you know that I take care of my 93 yr old mom who has Alzheimer’s. And I’m also handling my sister’s health challenges.

One day in a fit of rage, I wrote down everything that I do for my sister, and it was/is staggering. All the calls and waiting on the calls, the appointments, scheduling car service, on and on.  Thank Goddess my mom’s health is pretty good.

I had to figure out how to have an artist life in between mom, sister, husband, business, and home. It took a long time of figuring it out. I’m doing much better - took months, maybe a year or more to get to the point I’m at now.

Time flees, I can’t keep up. I’m learning to let go. I’m better at it – constant process.

I’d beat myself up a lot because I wasn’t getting everything done. Of course I wasn’t getting everything done before dealing with mom and sister, but now it’s really over the top.

Let Go, Relax, Breathe, Let Go, Relax, Breathe, Let Go, Relax, Breathe…

My art time has suffered and I’m making peace with that and constantly making adjustments.

Let Go, Relax, Breathe, Let Go, Relax, Breathe, Let Go, Relax, Breathe…

Self-Care. I hear that a lot, “Make sure you take care of yourself.”
I’ve been doing my morning rituals for years. Sometimes I would be lax about some things but now I realize that it’s a must. It’s my lifeline.

But the morning stuff is not enough. Got to put in some fun. During the summer, mom and I would go to a lot of free events in the area , husband and I would go out, meet up with the girlfriends.

There’s a friend I haven’t seen in over a year and I was looking at my calendar to see what’s a good day to meet.  That week had a bunch of appointments for my sister and mom. She said, “We can do it another week.” Without thinking I said “No, I have to schedule me in this week. I can’t have it be all about them. I got to take care of me.”

That’s what has prompted me to write this post. Got to schedule the ‘Me Time.’

Remember to
Let Go, Relax, Breathe, Let Go, Relax, Breathe, Let Go, Relax, Breathe…

Good Times? What's so good about alzheimers?

A couple of months ago, my sister, mom and I were filmed in my home with actresses Bern Nadette Stanis. She played Thelma in Good Times.

Her mom had alzheimers and Bern Nadette wanted to talk with other caregivers. I have to thank Paula, who leads the Harlem Alzheimers support group for that hook up. 

I was nervous during the filming and after my husband said he wish he had cue cards to remind us what to talk about. UGHHHH! I felt horrible after the shoot because I was tongue tied and my sister felt horrible because she was crying. (You see some of that in the trailer.) Mom was just going with the flow. I just have to release and let go. 

During the filming I did show some of mom's handmade quilts. I hope they show them.

It'll be shown on Centric TV and the show is called 'BEING.' (link to trailer) This Saturday July, 30th, 2016. Check the site for the time in your area. 

If you are a caregiver, please go to these websites. They offer classes, support groups, 24 hour call support and more. You are not alone. 
Caring Kind (NYC Chapter)
Alzheimer's Association

All smiles after the shoot.
Bern Nadette Stanis, Denise, Izola, Shimoda, Paula Rice

Could I Ever Live in a Tiny House?

While in Califonia, Luther, my husband and I went to see  our friend Dominique Moody (link is added at the end of post.) She has been working on her tiny house for years. Every year that visited California, I would visit her to see the progress. She was never in the same place - Watts, Altadena... this time was the furthest from were we were staying - 2 1/2 hour drive to Joshua Tree. Where the completed home resides at the moment. 

Luther and I had an amazing time sitting in her home called the 'Nomad.' We ate brunch and listened to her many stories of what she had to go through and where she might be next.. Other countries are interested in her traveling with the Nomad. 

Can I Do This?
Her home is under 150 ft. Comfortable for one if I didn't have my papers, books, art supplies... Where would I hang my art collection? 

Then I thought that I can maybe use a tiny house as my art studio. A large tiny house! Not sure how large it would need to be. Right now I'm using one of the bedrooms as my playroom. It's about 140 square feet. It's actually about the size of Dominique's home! And I feel cramped in my room. Right now I have a desk for paperwork, table for my beading, my husbands computer desk that I use all the time, small bookcases and storage areas. I desire another table to spread out my fiber art instead of bring stuff to the bedroom and spreading it on the bed. 

Ok, so if i have a seprate studio outside of my home, can I live in a tiny house? How large can a tiny house be? When is it considered not tiny? 

I think at this time of my life I can't live tiny. I'm slowly getting rid of stuff. But not enough to live tiny. I'm inspired by other people who do. More power to them.

http://dominiquemoody.com/
Dominique & The Nomad Video

Art and Alzheimers

My mom is 91 this year and she has Alzheimer’s. She lives with my sister and sometimes I have mom stay with me to give my sister a break.

When I was growing up, my mom had a side business making hats for her clients. I remember watching her gluing down the flowers and trimmings. I loved to smell the white glue and to smear it on the palm of my hand, wait for it to dry and peel it off. (Wait, that didn't sound right. I wasn't into sniffing glue like an addict. I swear!)

When she was with me I had to give her something to do. Since I was sewing, she started sewing. She loves sewing buttons and I noticed that she went for the colorful ones.

I have to be careful when she’s at my desk. She is very neat and will organize my beads, put things in bags, put stuff in her pocket… THIEF!!!One time I could not find a project that I was working on. It was months later when I was looking for something else that it popped up.

We’ve been in two exhibitions together and at receptions, no one can tell her she is not an artist. The first exhibit, she pulled people to her art and started talking to them. Her conversations can be jumbled but her cheerfulness shines through.

The below video was an announcement of our first show together when she was 88 yrs old. 

 When I got the info for Dinga McCannon's workshop, I had a feeling that I should get my mother involved also. She's 88, lives in Queens with my sister and has dementia. She doesn't do much at home and since she used to make hats when I was growing up, I figured this would give her something to do.